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Are men or women more prone to be busybodies and why?

Sorry ladies but I would say women are for various reasons to include:

• Since women are actually better than multitasking than men, women often get bored easier and add more things to their plate as a result.

• Women still feel challenged about having to prove themselves in the world where thy can keep up, compete or do it better so they take on more than they should and kill themselves to prove it

• Most women have some motherly instinct which causes them to take on too much on because they think they can handle it all as a multi-tasker, and have somewhat of a "I'm the world's mom" instinct, and therefore like a mom, have to be involved in everything in their "children's" lives.

This is not to say many men are not busybodies, and it probably is almost 50-50 because men become busybodies because of their value systems and macho "I want to prove something in everything" tendencies as well. I have had to deal with big-time busybody versions of each, male and female.

What to do if you work for, live with or have to put up with a busybody:

MOST IMPORTANTLY - Minimize your time around that person or you'll get more and more irritated and hate life because of their ways, ESPECIALLY if your a "call a spade a spade" type of person who hates playing games and being a socialite

That said, try to arrange things so you don't have to work for them, have a buffer in between or in a position where where you can stay away (proximity-wise) and claim you're too busy for them and then stay busy with their projects rather tan with them to prove it. They will probably understand being busy more than anyone else you will ever meet so will like that you have become one of their mini-me's!

Talking to them about it is probably not going to work, because they usually don't change who they are or how they are. You have to practice avoidance as much as possible and if you can swing it, go to meetings, conferences, fill your calendar with things and in the opposite direction or location of that busybody.

What NOT to do if you work for a busybody

Don't engage them head on when you are around them. Let them know you're too busy and never call a spade a spade unless they ask you to about someone other than them.

Don't EVER fall for that tactic they use to try to gauge what others are thinking about them if they try to use it on you.

Your method if dealing with a busybody in person is very important. Be subtle in how you communicate, and even somehow pleasant if you can. Be their friend not on their bad list or their busybody ways will keep you working nights and weekends. I have learned this the hard way.

Their worst enemy is the person who can call a spade a spade. They can't ever handle that person and will do what they can to either avoid the person or overrule and overlord that person and make them no longer a threat to having to ever face the truth. Unfortunately I learned that the hard way with both men and women busybodies.

They only appreciate those who are subtle and overly friendly rather than straight up. This is why working for a busybody can also be the worst nightmare for one who is used to calling a spade a spade like I am. That is why my article is based on experience not just hype. It's also why this article is a bit long. But I hope it helps you the reader better understand and deal with it as a lifehack about dealing with busybodies and helping busybodies should.

What I loved about working for or interacting with a busybody

More on that one in part 4 - be sure to bookmark and subscribe at the links below so you don't miss this 4-part series

- Your Life Lessons aka LifeHacker Blogger

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Why do Busybodies act the way they do?

To understand a busybody, you must know why they are the way they are. It will help you to deal with them better, and as a result make life or work a bit easier. Here are some reason I've come up with and though I'm no psychologist, I think this is probably accurate:

• There are two main reasons that I have found why a busybody acts the way he or she does and what drives a busybody...GUILT and FEAR. It boils down to their inner psychology and drive based on how they are motivated, how they view life and what their values are and more importantly how they justify the meeting of those values as well as challenges in life.

• What does their actions have to do with their values? Because their guilt and fear of not meeting expectations makes them go overboard to try to meet those expectations and values and they can in one sense be quite fanatical about certain things to prove they will hold up their values to the end. Their self-driven fanaticism unfortunately has to be proven in the small and big things...in everything...that they do in life. And everyone around them suffers for it.

• What I'm talking about with regards to busybodies is similar to some of the stuff Suze Orman talked about in her book The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom. Her thesis, quite correct in my view, is that peoples' money problems are a result of their fears, anxieties and guilt based on value lessons they learned when they were growing up and how such lessons impact their lives for the long haul.

• It also boils down to fear of facing themselves and confronting themselves of some of their fears and hangups. If they were truly honest with themselves, busybodies would realize that they don't want to face themselves or other important things so they occupy themselves with business to have an excuse not to face the things they need to really face.

• Busybodies are therefore their own worst enemy as they continue to distract themselves in order to avoid confronting themselves and being true to themselves. They act out more than stay reserved and are typically socialites and extroverts rather than introverts...in fact introversion would make them too self aware and the fear of boredom.

• A busybody is so afraid of boredom, he or she would undoubtedly prefer to crawl out of his or her own skin rather than facing boredom or the possibility of boredom. Should a busybody have any other issues besides what I call busybody syndrome, then his or her busybody ways are only magnified and intensified.

To what other issues am I referring?

• Attention Defecit Disorder or ADD
• Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD
• Attention Defecit Disorder or OCD
• Insomnia
• Asperger's syndrome
• Tourette's Syndrome
• Etc. (I will blog about these later under the same label Mental Wellness)

Are Men more likely to be busybodies or are women? Ha! Great question for a lengthy debate!

More on that one in part 3 - be sure to bookmark and subscribe at the links below so you don't miss this 4-part series

- Your Life Lessons aka LifeHacker Blogger

Subscribe to 12 Topics for Lifehacks (a Lifehack is valuable advice and life lessons learned for your benefit - are you a Lifehacker yet?)

This is a basic rule of life that 80% of us mess up anyhow.

But why? Why do things take twice as long as you think they will?

I think for these reasons:

• You WISH they wouldn't take as long so you try to make it seem like they won't, and refuse to believe anything else until time itself proves you wrong

• You are stubborn and never learn your lesson (of the above point)

• You have a poor sense of time

• You try to do too much

• You are too perfectionist

• You underestimate and your philosophy never allows you to overestimate

• External pressure forces you to show it takes less time than it really does

• Your project planning skills, methods and milestones are unrealistic

• You lack experience to realize how long things will take and what all is involved as well as what variables cause times and plans to slip and logistics to go south

Any other thoughts?

- Your Life Lessons aka LifeHacker Blogger

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I consider myself a classical minimalist. Do you?

A classical minimalist is a proponent of things such as

• The 80-20 rule...what I call 80-20 living & some have called "living the 80-20 way"
• The 4 hour work week philosophy and principles
• Zen habits type of living
• Minimalist simplicity
• De-cluttering one's life
  
• Not wasting one's time i.e. being more productive and getting things done (gtd)
  

That said, I try to see day to day things in light of such "lenses".

For example, I try to apply the 80-20 rule to things daily if possible, in life (if it fits). People always hear me talking about things from an 80-20 perspective, and I will hopefully have the opportunity to blog more about it because it's the way of the minimalist and similar to principles followed by those who follow lifehacks and lifehacker, 43 folders, zenhabits, etc. I have labeled us all classical minimalists. I hope you don't mind...

What is a Classical Minimalist after in life?

The single best answer is this...all the stuff Maslow talked about in the highest level or pinnacle of his Hierarchy of Needs model...namely...Self Actualization

Here's what immediately comes to mind for me related to the desires of a classical minimalist :

• Happiness
• Simplicity
• Satisfaction and fulfillment
• Working smarter not harder
• Sense of purpose
• Success
• No strife or contention
• No red tape of bureaucracy
• Quietness, stillness
• Friendship and solitude

Classic Minimalists are also anti-polar in certain respects (not to say the don't take sides or a stance, but they do emphasize an open-minded, multifaceted and smart approach that takes into account all of the considerations and options they could possibly consider before making any rash and ill informed move) and they follow the way of:

• Balance and avoiding the extremes
• Seeking a third and better (higher) way
  

Some Theme Songs for the Classical Minimalist (I definitely left some out!)

• Take it easy
• The Gambler
• Already Gone

Some Ancient Wisdom Philosophies and World Views Respected By Minimalists often include

• Confucianism
• Taoism
• Zen
• Proverbs of Solomon

Did I leave anything out here that fellow classical minimalists would like to add to? Please share via the comment link...

- Your Life Lessons aka LifeHacker Blogger

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What is a busybody?

A Busybody can be defined as a gossiper and meddler. The busybody who has nothing better to do than stay busy with often meaningless or self-created activity in order to prevent boredom due to a fear that lack of activity this would put them in the position of having to face themselves.

They biggest problem is that they have to AVOID THEMSELVES AT ALL COSTS and God help them if they have time on their hands to think or for introspection. They therefore find all kinds of things to stay busy, hence they are called a busybody.

The result is that they cause problems, without even knowing it nor being able to change, control themselves or tame their ego to do other than stay busy as a meddler in life. It's such a shame but life has so many of them that one wonders why.

I've come up with the following 22 traits and characteristics of a busybody. These are the telltale signs that make it clear someone is probably a busybody in the classic sense of the word.

If a person you know, to include yourself, fits at least half of them in my opinion, then they can be classified as a busybody. The more of these traits someone has, the worse of a busybody they are.

22 Traits and Characteristics of Busybodies...they...

• Gossip a lot and always has to find out what's new and what's going on or what others are talking about
  

• Waste at least 80% of their time (80-20 Rule for Busybodies)
  

• Can't relax or be still too long, always has to be on the go, talking or doing something and are easily bored with everyone and everything including themselves
  

• Meddle and interfere in other people's business or personal affairs

• Major in the minors, sweat the small stuff and focus on trite matters

• Blow small things way out of proportion because of the need to do something or get involved and stay occupied with their time
  

• Have to make a comment and make their opinions and thoughts known to others, has difficulty holding their tongue and keeping things to themselves
  

• Are compelled to involve others in their personal affairs and stay very busy doing so
  

• Seek out others' problems and issues and wants people to come to them with issues
  

• Can't keep quiet for long, the worst person to try to watch a movie or television with

• Too high strung and type A and often explode, are short tempered, impatient and get worked up over nothing or place blame and point the finger before
  

• Talk about unimportant things or things that interest them that no one else is really interested in

• Go on and on about something more than they should
  

• Needlessly take up other people's time

• Can be a bit paranoid or worrisome about certain things at times, and can worry too much to the point where they create concern about things that probably won't ever affect them or others (80% of the time at least, there's 80-20 again...that said...)

• Live in reverse of the 80-20 rule of life, are not minimalists and advocates of actually getting things done and would have extreme difficulty reading and applying things found at blogs like Zen Habits, 43 Folders, Lifehacker.org and Lifehacks.com
  

• Are news junkies and always have to keep up with stuff way out of their scope of necessary concern and often subscribe to several magazines or read several tabloid columns
  

• Not content, always has to have something new, more or different

• Can't sit down and relax, but instead feel guilty when they do so they always have to do something, move about and be on the go

• Make everything a priority and therefore is the worst at prioritizing and getting things done because when everything is a priority, nothing is a priority!

• Spread their miseries on others and fulfills the saying "misery loves company" and let me add "especially when it comes to a busybody"!

• Are overly concerned with outward appearances, protocol, social graces and how they are look, come across or are judged yet they will never admit this. The biggest clue to this one is when they always have to explain things away because they fear what others might think...God forbid that it's not good and they know about it, so everyone always has to act like there is nothing wrong since busybodies love to shoot the messenger!
  

Why do Busybodies act the way they do?

More on that one in part 2 - be sure to bookmark and subscribe below so you don't miss this 4-part series!

- Your Life Lessons aka LifeHacker Blogger

Subscribe to 12 Topics for Lifehacks (a Lifehack is valuable advice and life lessons learned for your benefit - are you a Lifehacker yet?)